Reflections on the Year

The kids wrapped up their first year homeschooled in our little red schoolhouse last Friday. So what are my thoughts and feelings at this point?

Part of me still wonders, "Did we do enough? Did the kids learn enough? Is there more I should have done? Is this the right decision?" I shake my head because the questions could go on and on. There is no way to 'know' at any point whether the current course of action is the 'right' one for future success. And what is future success anyways? Is it making lots of money, or is it being happy? Is it using your talents to the fullest, or is it having a job to help someone else make lots of money? Admittedly, this borders on philosophy, but I am discovering that if I focus on essential questions like this I am completely confident of our decision to homeschool the kids.

The benefits smack themselves in my face every time I think about it. The kids are happy, relaxed, engaged in their learning and have pushed themselves and become better learners and people this year. Is it all roses? No. Having two very smart kids and trying to guide them is challenging. They have brains, opinions and wills. There is a daily balance of being mom and being teacher, of pushing and of backing off. When I think of homeschooling, in one sense I think of tension because there is a constant give and take. I sit here wracking my brain, trying to put this into words, and words don't come.

One of the best gifts of this year has been getting to know my kids much better than I ever did before. Ironically, it took most of the year and reading lots of books about teaching and parenting to gain a greater understanding of them. I have a long ways to go.

The kids' lead teacher with Connections said that she sees our family as the 'epitome' of homeschooling and the kids are lucky to have me for a teacher. I laughed when I told the kids that, and we all agreed that calling me a teacher is so funny. I provide the materials and learning opportunity, but the kids are the ones who do the work and actually learn. It is hard to imagine that this messy, somewhat uncomfortable process could be held up as a standard!